Day 19: Relationships

Day 19 of 31 Days of Consistency & Children

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Love♡

Who remembers young love?
That first crush!
Butterflies in their stomach when _______ walked by or better when they yet said hi to you in the hall!

What an awkward time in our lives that was!! Our emotions were on a continuous roller coaster. In love one day then arch enemies the next. We wete all just trying to figure out where we belonged in the crowd. Doing what we had to just to fit in.

I don’t miss those days. It was really hard being a teenager.

The reason for all my babbling is that my 15 year old daughter is struggling with relationships. My husband and I decided that our children will not be allowed to date until they are 16 years old. Hold on, I kniwvwgat uou are thinking…That is not at all what she has an issue with!!! She actually likes this rule. I think it takes some pressure off her!

There is a boy!! She thought that she liked him. She meet him in FFA and they just kinda clicked. She made him aware right from the beginning that she can’t date until she is 16. In the past when she has told other boys that she can’t date they just stop talking to her all together. That really sucks but she realizes that it is their loss if they choose not to even be friends anymore.

Back to the current issue at hand. My daughter and FFA boy where hanging out a little (with other friends) and she made sure he still knew they were not “dating” which he appeared to understand. BUT last night FFA boy and another friend said they were coming over. Haley said no because she didn’t want to get into trouble as she was already told she couldn’t do anythjng. They came out anyway! Nice, right?? My husband told her she had 5 minutes to say hello. She relayed these instructions to her friends and they refused to leave. They insisted that she would not get into trouble. She was getting upset with them. They finally left but 5 minutes had come and gone many minutes prior.

Today Haley and I talked because I had a funny feeling that something was up. (I had an uneasy feeling about him from day 1 just so you know.) She was not too sure if she liked him anymore.

We had a few nice conversations about friends and respect. I explained that friends and boyfriends (someday) should respect her and her parents rules. If they can’t respect a few simple rules what happens when a bigger decison needs to be made such as they decide to take her home late or act on a feeling even when “no” was said. This can become a huge ripple effect. She was very upset that her “friends” couldn’t respect her enough to listen to her.

We also talked about listening to the still small voice or as some say the gut feeling because that is God talking to us. If something makes us uneasy then we should steer clear of that.

We ended our day with a conversation about Haley telling FFA boy that she didn’t want to disobey her parents by dating before she is 16. Can you imagine the smile on this mom’s face:)

So as I am revisiting the days conversations I say to my husband that we are blessed to have such an open relationship with Haley. We have always kept the communication lines open and we stand by what we say to our children. We have always told them to talk to us about anything. We want them to come to us if they are struggling with something. So consistent communication and trust will go a long way with children.

I want to close today with scripture about obeying our parents.

~Ephesus 6:1-3
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on earth.”

God Bless, Crystal

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8 responses to “Day 19: Relationships

  1. Hey Crystal, it’s been good to pop over and catch up a bit! Our oldest is approaching 12 and the days you describe are the ones that make me a bit nervous. Thanks for sharing and I’m grateful Crystal is making wise choices and pray that will continue! Keep pouring into her and we know God’s Word will not return void!!
    By the way we LOVE Resurrection Rolls too!! Blessings to you!

    • Thanks for the nice comment! I pray that the other kids will be a receptive to our teachings. You guys will do just fine with your kids as teens. You have given them a wonderful foundation!! God bless you Jill!!

  2. I have 3 daughters (8, 5, 4) and boys like that make me nervous…obviously for when they’re older! It sounds like, by the grace of God, you have cultivated an awesome relationship with Haley!

    • Amen!! I agree. I made many many bad choices when I was her age so I am glad God has cultivated this relationship between us! Hopefully it will be the same with the rest of the kids!!!

  3. You and your husband have trained her well. My husband and I are also blessed to have a close relationship with our kids (21, 16, & 13). They trust us and they know we’re always here for them and they can talk with us about anything. Most importantly, they have an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. They love Him and want to please, obey, and honor Him in everything they do. How thankful I am that they live their faith out loud authentically with no compromise!

    • It feels very good when our children have close relationships with Jesus. I hope all of my kids will have this same relationship with him. The other kids are younger (8, 5, and 3) but I just keep planting the seeds!! God is so good:)

  4. What a great relationship you have with your daughter! My mom and I were that way when I was younger, and still are. Knowing you can come to your mom with anything and everything is so freeing for a teen girl. Praying your relationship with her ways stays like this! 🙂

    And good for her, obeying the rules and knowing what is right! Good girl! 🙂

    • Thank you very much Denise! I am happy to hear that your relationship with your mom is still close!! It’s really hard raising kids these days but nice to see the affects of sticking our ground!! I appreciate your prayers. Prayer is so powerful and I love the feeling of others praying in mumbers!!!!